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What I Learned From Living Alone


I have lived solo on and off over a handful of my adulthood years, and currently am the queen of my own fort. Living alone has allowed me to learn so much about myself, as well as the world I live in, which is why in my uttermost bones I believe everyone should live alone at least once in their lifetime.

Perhaps my liking for solo-living was because of my upbringing as an only child (with the company of my fur-siblings, of course). I was spoiled over the years, and even now, being a twenty-something year old living 1,800 miles away, my parents would still do anything to help if I asked or needed it.

But living alone gave me a sense of independence I never had prior. I was no longer the only child who needed my mom and dad to run to the rescue. I found that living alone allowed me to grow into the person I needed and wanted to become. That’s the beauty in living alone for a period of time, you give yourself the space and room to grow.

You will surprise yourself.

When you tango with living alone, you learn how to stand on your own two feet with confidence. It alters your state of mind. You are no longer dependent on anyone else, financially or emotionally. This independence radiates from within, and believe me, others can not only see it, but they can feel it, and be inspired by it.

Living alone allows you to see just how much you’re capable of handling. Whether you’re recently single or just moved somewhere new on your own; you’ll find out that you can take out the garbage, do the dishes, vacuum, walk the dog, read a couple chapters from a book, go to brunch with a friend, get groceries, go to the gym, get dog food, all in a days time and all on your own.

You take full responsibility for your life.

Solo living makes you the most accountable you’ve ever been, and this is so important. In life it’s easy to push blame towards someone else, I know, I’ve been there pointing fingers at anyone but myself. But when you live alone, there is no one to blame when the dishes are piling up, the laundry didn’t get done, or the plants didn’t get watered.

To become accountable is truly liberating, because you learn to take responsibility for your life, and that is called power. And this newfound power will pour into not only your personal life, but it will transcend into your professional life too.

You learn how to handle the hard times, on your own.

You will come to find that through the lows of living alone, you will learn to sit with it. Meaning, you know you can’t outrun your problems and struggles, and you know better than to harbor your pain. So you let the uncomfortable and the painful pass through you. You confront it head on, and allow yourself to be human.

To find comfort in the company of yourself will transform life as you know it. To find the serendipities and silver linings with the help of no one but yourself, that is something to be treasured, and it is a gift.

Personal growth is easy to come by.

You will learn the beauty in isolation, because it allows you to get to know yourself better than you ever have. You will discover your imperfections, shortcomings, and the not so pretty parts of yourself, and you will learn to love them anyway. You will learn to be more gentle with yourself, to be kinder to yourself, to truly love yourself.

Living alone gives you the opportunity to practice being present, to become a master at being in the here and now. Without the distractions of other people, you will learn to observe the little voice in your head, but not be ruled by it. You will learn how to find the joys in not only the big moments, but in your day-to-day life.

Living with me, myself, and I, taught me all of the things I needed to know, and it can teach you too.


Written By Jamie Fleetwood


Jamie is a Midwest transplant currently living in Phoenix, Arizona. She is a writer, creator, and wanderer who enjoys road trips, photography, and getting lost. She encourages others to live life their own way by sharing the nomadic pitstops of her life through photos and words from the heart.

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