Love vs. Lust: Can you feel the difference?

Love vs. lust

Love is one of the most powerful human emotions. And lust isn’t far behind. The difference between love and lust can oftentimes be confused, however.  But, where lust is a short haul, love is a long lasting and oftentimes permanent state.

It’s true that when you are in lust, you want to be with that person all the time…similar to love. But, lust is more of an instant gratification state generally satiated by sex. Granted, when you are in love, sex is a pretty strong pull too but that’s not where it ends, unlike lust.

Love goes far deeper than just the physical attraction and desire for another individual.

Lust is oftentimes the first stages of love, which is why new couples find themselves entwined in sheets or locking limbs in the backseat of a car. But, those in love begin to feel intimacy, commitment and other intense emotions. Whereas, if the relationship never progresses past the lust stage, all you want to do is have sex.

Love grows over time and lust will fizzle out after boredom sets in.

Warning signs your NOT in lust:

  • Sex or not, you want to be with that person every waking moment.
  • You can spend hours talking, holding hands and staring deeply into each others eyes.
  • You can picture spending life behind a white picket fence with 2.3 kids and a minivan and serious discussions regarding those three things ensue.
  • The ‘us’ becomes far greater than the ‘I’.
  • Claws and fangs come out if your love is being dissed.
  • You find yourself emotionally supporting, understanding and constantly in need of learning more about that person.
  • You become become emotionally dependent and obsessive.
  • You find that, no matter how hard you try, you can’t get the thought of this person out of your head.
  • You begin annoying your friends with constant chatter about the “we” thing.
  • It doesn’t completely gross you out to use their toothbrush.
  • You begin planning future trips, buying concert tickets, accepting invitations as a couple because you just can’t picture ever being without this person.
  • You sigh a lot when you picture their face.
  • You aren’t afraid to open up to them, you know that you’ll be understood and not judged.
  • You start saying ‘we’ and ‘us’ instead of ‘I’ and ‘me’.
  • Your friends roll their eyes at you way too often now.
  • You become an emotional, unstable mess. It’s scientifically proven that love does this.
  • You spend most of your waking moments thinking about the love of your life. Admit it, you do!

Signs you ARE  in lust:

  • You just want to see that person naked, you don’t really care about their new jeans.
  • You aren’t sure you want to introduce this person to your friends just yet. You’d much rather just have sex.
  • You constantly have a burning desire for this person. NOW.
  • Lust moves much faster than love. That’s why it burns out quicker.
  • You don’t feel the need to learn anything about this person other than what they can do in bed.
  • Future plans aren’t even in your thought process, unless the future is now and between sheets.

Being is lust is sometimes just as fun as being in love.  Most relationships do start out with the lust stage but love can withstand lust.


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Melissa Brodsky

Melissa has been sharing too much of her life online for the past five years at She recently Co-Founded a social media company aptly titled Smart Savvy Social ( because she and her business partner are both smart AND savvy. When Melissa isn't cleaning up after her 5 kids, 6 cats, 2 dogs and various other household pests, she can be found obsessively twittering as @rockdrool.