Booty Call Etiquette for Women

It’s nearing 3 a.m., the batteries in your vibrator have bit the dust, and you’re tossing and turning in your satin sheets wondering why you spent all that money on a Brazilian bikini wax if no one was going to be able to enjoy it. So what do you do? You reach for your trusty iPhone and scroll through the list of eligible bachelors who might be interested in a harmless late night romp in the sack free of strings attached—aka: the booty call. Ladies, if you’re a single gal in today’s modern world, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little bump ‘n’ grind … but only if you adhere to the proper booty call etiquette (you are a lady, after all). So before you dial, make sure you play by the following rules:

Show a little consideration. Most calls of the booty variety tend to take place between the wee hours of midnight and 5 a.m. — a timeframe that many would consider to be ungodly. So if the recipient of your call has a meeting early the next morning, has parents in town, is stone-cold sober, hasn’t spoken to you in seven years or they despise your guts and wish you dead, then it will probably be in your best interest to avoid contacting this particular individual. But if you can’t resist the urge, rather than placing 18 consecutive phone calls to your late night hype, have a little consideration by shooting a text that will be less likely to wake them from their peaceful slumber instead.

Be buzzed, not blitzed. Let’s get real — another common factor in booty calls is booze. But unless you enjoy the feeling of waking up in a state of utter confusion questioning where you are, who’s asleep next to you and why you aren’t wearing any PJs, try to keep the drinks to a reasonable number. Alcohol helps lower your inhibitions and can make the situation less awkward when all you want to do is get busy … but you don’t want your inhibitions lowered to the point that you sleep with someone who you wouldn’t so much as lay eyes on sober, let alone lay your body on top of naked.

Keep it casual. Because sex is something that can spark a lot of emotion, make sure that the two of you are at a mutual agreement to keep things strictly about sex so that no one gets hurt. As difficult as it may be to believe, men are people, too, and they surprising have feelings. So of course, don’t treat him like a sex object but also don’t hang around the next morning to cuddle or talk about meeting each other’s families while you dine on breakfast together in bed. Keep it casual as booty calls are meant for having a little fun; typically they are not the story you will tell at your wedding about how you and your husband came to be.

Don’t cross ex-territory. It can be difficult to not go straight for your ex’s name in your phone book when you’re craving a little action … especially when you remember that your ex was the best sex of your life and you are certain that the break-up sex would be even better. But when you jump into bed with an old flame, the likelihood of starting a fire that you might not be able to extinguish is high to quite high. Avoid stirring up old feelings or inflicting more pain on one another than you already have in the past by scrolling past your ex’s name — or delete his number altogether if self-control is not your strong-point after you’re a shot of tequila and five cosmopolitans in.

Be safe. More and more people in society today are accepting of casual sex. And there is nothing wrong with such behavior just as long as you are taking the proper precautions to make the experience not only pleasurable, but also as safe as possible. So as difficult as it may be to fight the temptation when he’s trying his hardest (pun intended) to convince you of how much better it will feel without a condom — think about how sucky it will feel when your legs are up in the stirrups at the gyno’s office because of the treat of a rash the jerk gave you. Be safe and always wrap it up, sister!

This article brought to you by the good folks at Urbane Apartments Royal Oak Michigan, Urbane Apartments Ferndale Michigan,Urbane Apartments Birmingham Michigan, and Urbane Apartments Dearborn Michigan

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