As a salute to Halloween from the sports pages, I’d like to submit to you, my loyal readers and followers, a Top 10 List of Sports Horror stories. Now this list is incomplete and more of a “discussion starting point” but I just had to get it going….
If you agree or disagree, please let me know. And by all means, add your own in the comment section.
I’ll just paint a broad brush and say every union related incidence in professional sports is a horror story – i.e. there is no NBA season presently. So we’ll skip the obvious and dig into the oblivious, fun and abnormal.
10. Bill Buckner’s lack of fielding skill for the Red Sox in the 1986 World Series. He catches it, he’s a life-long hero, he boots it and he’s the butt of jokes for decades. He booted it, he’s on my list.
9. Steroids in all sports. It’s wrong, it’s Jose Canseco and A-Rod and sadly it’s Lyle Alzado. Is Lance Armstrong really clean? We’ll never know.
8. Any white dude over 7-feet tall in the NBA. Always a horror show waiting to happen. How many can you name?
7. Any and all sex scandals in sports. Keep it in your pants, Magic, Tiki, numerous others…et al.
6. Conferences that can’t count. Go back to school Big 10 (12 teams), Big 12 (10 teams) and focus on the basics. The Pac 10 changed to Pac 12 but come on…you’ll keep logo designers employed if you keep this silly notion of changing the number every year. Oh, and I just have to say, “HOTTY TODDY! SEC RULES, BABY!”….lol..ahem, back to my list….
5. Professional Wrestling. No, I won’t tell “The Rock” I can’t “Smell what he’s cookin’ tonight” and I’m not going to find Stone Cold Steve Austin and tell him that domestic beer sucks. I’ll leave that to stupider folks than me. I lost a few brain cells writing those last two sentences….
4. Televising tennis, golf, bowling and hockey. If you’re not in the big three – football, basketball or baseball – there shouldn’t be any TV time wasted on your sport. Go see it live, folks. That’s why they sell tickets. Olympic ice skating? Wait, that’s not a sport it’s a freakin’ soap opera….
3. The USFL. I loved it, Trump killed it. Wait, Donald Trump involved with any sporting event is a horror – boxing, Miss America – all things Trump should not be connected to sports.
2. My fantasy football teams. Yes, I start hot and quickly fade as bye weeks and injuries come to roost. I hang my hat on guys like Beanie and Barth while Ocho falls off the depth chart and Peyton’s slack is picked up by no one. Everyone I bench or cut goes for a career week their next time out….ouch!… Under 50 hangs an “L” on you every time….
And the Number One, Numero Uno Sports Horror is….
1. Professional boxing after George Foreman retired. He tangled with Ali, Frazier and wanted to fight Tyson. The tattoo faced man instead bit off ears and became a laughing stock of the boxing world and Foremen got rich off his grills and other endorsements. I guess we just hang this horror story on Tyson and his manager Don King. Can you even name one of today’s professional boxers?
What’s your sports horror story? Let me know…..
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